1. After reviewing the information about the drafting introduction on page 3, review your own intro and decide what you can do to:
2. I can make the intro paragraph sound more professional. I can be more prepared of the ideas that I have planned out and make the paragraph more presentable.
3. Review your topic sentences of your body paragraphs:
a. Whether you are doing org. plan 1 or 2, your topic sentences should contain the criteria that you are discussing in the paragraph. (Review bottom of page 4 and all of page 5).
b. Yes my topic sentences are focusing on everything that my paragraph is talking about.
c. If you have any main topic sentences (do at least two here) that don’t contain the criteria of your definition that you are about to discuss in your paragraph, paste the old sentence, then write the revision of it that you will change in your next draft, like this:
i. OLD SENTENCE: Basically you can forget about all the ideas and knowledge that you have learned to get the degree.
ii. NEW SENTENCE You can forget about all the ideas that you have learned :now with criteria clearly stated so we know what to expect out of this paragraph
iii. Doing the minimum amount of work that is needed is just putting you in the crowd that is doing things just to get by
iv. The work that is needed on a successful scale is putting you above the people that do the minimum to pass by.
4. Now, go through your body paragraphs and make sure that in the evidence sections of them, you are “developing” the criterion you are discussing, which means: explaining/defining each criterion for your definition. By the end of your paper, we should be able to tell a) your definitions, b) the criteria for those definitions, and c) the definitions of those criteria. (Look at page 5, description of BP1).
a. Find your shortest body paragraph. This is a quick way to determine which one needs more development.
b. Paste it in.
c. Then paste in a revision of it that contains more details and explanations of the criterion under discussion.
5.
Even professionals that were not serious about earning a degree but we still call them professionals. They get degrees to say that they just went to school and did not waste their time. But at the same time they did because their mind was not set and made up. They made a decision to just stick it out and get that piece of paper that would make everyone proud of them. In order to get knowledge you just have to embrace it equally.
They have professionals in this society that has degrees and they do not know what to do with it. Some have many degrees and they do not know what they want to practice in. Forgetting about some of the lessons that you have learned is one of the hardest possibilities that can happen. Some get degrees and they practice and do very well in it because they did their time at school and was not playing around at all. If you embrace everything equally then the outcome should be sufficient.
6. Look over one of your rebuttal areas. If you have one (and you should; “considering the opposition” or “other viewpoints” is on the rubric) look for a way to revise it to be more developed, if you don’t have one, make one now to add into your next draft. Review page 6 and the ways that you 1) acknowledge opposition to your argument, 2) but prove how the opposition is not strong enough to invalidate your argument.
a. Paste in the old and new rebuttal sections
b. Or say that you hadn’t gotten around to that yet in your first draft and make one up now to include in your next draft.
You can be a smart and intelligent person with or without a Baccalaureate degree. A degree just makes you feel good when you have achieved something pasted high school. It makes you feel worthier and accomplished at life. But does this make you intelligent? No, it does not because someone that cheated themselves in life can achieve the same degree that you just received. They have serious and not to serious people. Some just come to college to satisfy their parents. And some come to benefit their lives. Your intelligence of the knowledge that you obtain and put to use makes the wise out comes that exist.
A degree does not make a person. It only shows that you went to school and did something with your life. Being intelligent brings the best part out of a person. Anything that is accomplished beyond college is worth more to everyone around you and you too. You can be serious but they are always people that are just sitting.
7.
THESE FOUR STEPS should allow you to get a start on your revision even though you aren’t getting your papers back from me until office hours Tuesday (if you want to come by) or class Wednesday. They ask you to look at a few areas in order to complete this sheet, but they will also provide a good system for working with your entire paper over the course of the next week and a half, as sort of a self review process. You can also use these considerations to ask your peer review partner about.
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